Nobody likes to make mistakes. They’re annoying, frustrating, and sometimes even embarrassing.  And they often make us feel like we’ve done something wrong.  Unless we change the way we think about them.  And when we do, we can discover that mistakes are one of the most powerful teaching tools we have.

Consider your child being in charge of making a class poster for the school play.  He brings home the poster board and stencils and begins to work.  “Do you want some help?” you ask.  “No,” he says and without another thought picks up the first letter and stencils it with colored marker on the board.  Then he does the next letter, then the next.  Pretty soon he realizes that he’s going to run out of room on the board because he didn’t first plan out the lettering.  Frustrated and annoyed, he throws the pens on the table.

You, on the other hand, feel a lesson coming on.  You know that this is a great opportunity to teach him some life lessons in a “controlled” environment.  In a way that doesn’t make him feel belittled and “stupid” you help him come up with ways to solve the poster problem.  You remind him that making mistakes is not a bad thing as long as you’re willing to learn from the mistakes.

Had you insisted he take your help from the beginning, he may have felt like he wasn’t capable of figuring things out on his own.  And you would have robbed him of the opportunity to learn how to deal with problems in a constructive way.  By not forcing your help on him, you showed him that you respected his decision to make the right choice.  Mistake or no mistake, this builds trust.  And trust builds confidence…something our kids will need to manage effectively as adults.

The money connection:  Allowing your kids to make money mistakes while they’re still under your tutelage is important. Better now when the mistakes are cheaper.  Although you may find it hard to let your child spend money on something you just know is a poor choice, it’s important you let them experience the consequences.  The key, again, is to have the conversation.  Why did you make that choice? Was it a good one? How could you do it differently in the future?  Kids don’t necessarily know how to work through problems unless we teach them.  And teaching them how to effectively manage money by using the power of mistakes is a priceless opportunity!