Every Monday I pop $5 into a special pocket of both my boys’ backpacks.  The money is to cover two days of eating lunch in the school cafeteria.  They could pick any two days but need to let me know in advance because, yes it’s true, I still pack their bag lunches on non-cafeteria days. 

One Monday I noticed that there were two dollar bills in Ryan’s special pocket.  If there had been two dollars and fifty cents I wouldn’t have thought much about it.  Each lunch costs $2.50 so that would have meant, for whatever reason, he skipped a lunch.  But two dollar bills confused me. 

So I asked him why he had two dollars in his backpack and no quarters.  “Oh,” he replied, “That’s the money I had left over after I paid my library fine.”   He said it pretty matter-of-factly, grabbed the two dollars and left.

My favorite part of this story is the matter-of-factly part.  It’s long been known in our family that we each have responsibilities.  I am responsible for making sure there is a nutritious dinner on the table each night.  I’m also responsible for making their bag lunches on non-cafeteria days!  The boys put away the dishes every night, no reminders…at least not now that they’re trained.  John fights with the sprinklers every weekend in the summer to minimize patchy dry spots.   These are things we just do because we each have a responsibility in running an efficient household.  We all know our roles and there’s no confusion.

It’s the same with kids and money management.  It never once occurred to Ryan that he should ask me for money to pay his library fine.  He was the one who forgot to turn in the book.  Just like we set up rules for completing household chores, we set up rules for who is financially responsible for what.  Obviously as parents we pay for food, shelter, and clothing.  But the extras, like going to the movies, video games, and cell phones…well, that’s up to them.  Oh yeah, and library fines.